Have a Little Faith

Posted on | July 23, 2010 | 2 Comments

First impressions, blind dates, networking, meeting new people – these are things that do not come naturally to me. My tendency is to shy away from these situations, to find a corner in the room and observe, instead of joining the fray. Part of it has to do with being an introvert; large crowds and unfamiliar situations can threaten to overwhelm me. But part of it is also tied to my self-esteem and self-confidence.

I’ve written before about how I don’t always see myself clearly, how I often assume the worst, instead of trusting in myself. What can I say? I’m a work in progress – and it can be difficult to maintain faith in yourself when you don’t have any control whatsoever over other people’s responses. Just because my family and my friends see me a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else will. I have to have faith that other people will take the time to look beyond the first impression and faith is something that isn’t always easy to have.

I may never be 100% confident in myself 100% of the time, but this week gave me the opportunity to try and drown out some of those nagging doubts – a crisis of confidence averted with the help of some friends. A news article I once read suggested writing out all the qualities I like about myself and using them to reminders to have faith, in myself and in others. Some people may not give me a second chance, but the right people will and here’s why:

I may never be a size zero, but I have fabulous hair, beautiful eyes, a warm and welcoming smile, and a deep appreciation for the wondrous powers of a good pedicure. I’m okay with the fact that I don’t conform to the standard for “traditional” beauty – who wants to be standard? And who gets to decide what’s pretty and what’s not? I don’t need someone else to tell me that I’m beautiful (though it doesn’t hurt), because I am finally – finally! – accepting myself, my body and my beauty for what it is, even when it’s far from perfect.

I’m smart – and not just in a “reads a lot of books and knows a lot of trivia” way, though that’s true too. I’m intelligent and articulate and, most of the time, I have a good dose of common sense. My friend L claims I am one of the best conversationalists she knows, because I pay attention to the world around me and can talk about just about anything. I’m curious about the world around me and I’m always learning more.

I’m fiercely loyal and devoted to my family and friends. I have a lot of people rooting for me, supporting me and encouraging me and I think it’s only fair that I root for, support and encourage all of them right back. I actually enjoy spending time with my family and I’ve had some of the same friends for 15+ years. I commit, because they’re worth it and they make me feel as if I’m worth it too.

I maintain a good balance in life between responsibility and fun. I’m incredibly independent and easily take care of myself and my responsibilities. But I also have a lot of passion for the things I’m interested in and am told that I’m a lot of fun to be around. I’ll discuss philosophy with you, and then play hide-n-seek with my nephews. I pay my bills on time and rarely miss a day of work, but I can also splurge and relax when I need to.

And perhaps mostly importantly, I’m flawed. Yes, it’s strange to consider this a good quality, but I do. I know I’m not perfect and I know I have a lot of things to improve upon and that’s part of what keeps me going. I can always do better, I can always be better and so I never stop trying to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend.

Am I bragging? Maybe, but I’m okay with that. It seems to me that we spent entirely too much time tearing ourselves down and beating ourselves up. We rarely take the time to focus on the positive. It’s far too easy to be self-critical. It’s harder to maintain consistent self-confidence. We all have our moments when we start to doubt – and when we do, it’s important to break the silence and remind ourselves exactly why we just need to have a little faith.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson

[Photo Credit: Google Image Search]

• Bookmark on Delicious
• Recommend on Facebook
• Buzz it up
• Share with Stumblers
• Tweet about it
• Subscribe to the comments on this post
• Tell a friend

Comments