Clash of the Mental Faculties
Posted on | June 30, 2010 | 4 Comments
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbes
I’m sure there are psychologists out there who would have a field day with the fact that I have quite a bit in common with a fictional, comic-book 6-year-old bent on world domination. I mean, not the brag or anything, but I was voted “Most Likely to Take Over the World” in high school. But Dr. Evil tendencies aside, Calvin and I both have the habit of getting far too caught up in the worlds of our own making.
Last fall, I wrote about my fan-girl geekiness and my love of all things nerd-a-licious. While there’s nothing inherently bad about this part of my life, the problem lies in my habit of letting my imagination team up with my inner fan-girl, to point where my imagination kicks into overdrive and reality gets shoved out the door.
I’ve explored my imaginative tendencies before (see exhibit A and exhibit B) and most of the time, I’m okay with losing myself in the fantasy and letting my inner fan-girl think that she really does live in Forks, WA or Bon Temps, LA. But sometimes, after waking up from a particularly vivid dream or snapping out of a mid-day woolgathering session, I end up feeling disappointed that I’ve been brought back to reality.
I’ve got nothing wrong with reality in general. I live here and it’s mostly quite nice. But it’s also mundane and boring, caught in the cycle of day-to-day life where habits and routines remain more or less the same. And when compared to the worlds I’m able to create inside my head, it just doesn’t measure up.
The rational side of me keeps saying, “of course reality doesn’t measure up, Meredith. That’s why they call fantasies, fantasies.” I also know how important my imagination can be. I helps me find creative solutions to problems in life and lets me process the things I can’t quite comprehend otherwise. The trouble comes when I start to prefer the outrageous scenarios in my head instead of the real ones right in front of me.
I’m sure I’m not alone. I’m sure we all wish we could just escape into an imagined world and leave the problems of reality behind. I guess I just wish it didn’t feel like I’m waging a war between the two sides of myself: the rational versus the irrational. For every dream or daydream that has me wishing I could wave my magic wand and shout “Wingardium Leviosa!,” there’s a part of me that’s shouting, “Not so fast! Did you pay your student loan bill this month?”
I’d like to think I’m not as bad as I used to be, the effect of having grown up (a bit, anyway), but the conflict remains: when I’m lost in thought, busy dreaming up crazy adventures, I find myself pushing away that nagging voice that’s telling me to clean the apartment. And when I’m experiencing a particularly stressful day at work, there will be a moment when I look around, sigh, and wish I could just imagine it all away.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
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4 Responses to “Clash of the Mental Faculties”
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June 30th, 2010 @ 10:38 AM
“there will be a moment when I look around, sigh, and wish I could just imagine it all away.”
HOW TRUE!
I think we all struggle with this to some degree. I know people who are vehement about their fandoms and it kind of weirds me out. Then there are people who make a balance…you seem like a balance type person.
June 30th, 2010 @ 3:22 PM
You often say that you can relate to stories I share about my youngest daughter; as I was reading this, I was thinking how much your take on the world reminds me of hers! That struggle between two worlds, fantasy and reality, isn’t one I can personally relate to so much (although we all take our strolls down fantasy lane), but I can see the struggle in my 10-year-old, and I know it’s a true struggle.
As Kim said (above), you seem like a good balance. Just remember to root yourself in the best parts of reality, and to leverage your imagination whenever possible. (Do you ever write fiction?)
June 30th, 2010 @ 3:27 PM
Kim – I do try to stay balanced. I think that’s the part I struggle with. It would be too easy to let myself become one of “those” fan-persons. I think it helps to remind myself that for every thing I can think up, there’s a better reason for enjoying what’s already present in reality.
Kristin – I do listen to your stories about your daughters and see my younger self so clearly in your younger daughter. It’s kind of amazing. I’ve tried to write fiction, but it never comes out quite the way I want it to. Perhaps I should give it another shot.
October 3rd, 2011 @ 8:37 AM
[...] written before about my habit of getting lost in worlds and dreams of my own making. My tendency to over-think things and to imagine infinite [...]