Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative

Posted on | January 29, 2010 | No Comments

Whenever someone is up for a review or is being critiqued, most experts agree: start with the positive feedback first. Studies suggest that people respond to constructive criticism better when they’ve first been praised for the good things. Anecdotal evidence certainly suggest that this is true, so it makes me wonder:

Did the Republicans not get that memo?

Last night, President Obama gave his first State of the Union address and one of the very first things to happen after the speech concluded was the Republican response – which, in effect, is essentially a member of the Republican Party detailing why they – the Republicans – think the President is wrong, all wrong.

That’s to be expected, of course. We are, after all, a deeply divided and partisan country (so much so that it really makes me question the whole “one nation, indivisible” part of the Pledge of Allegiance). But the one thing that struck me last night was how very pessimistic we are as well.

The President, echoing his campaign-era speeches, spoke of hope, even in the face of the hard work that’s still to come. And yet the minute he finished, television pundits, Republicans and other naysayers couldn’t wait to pounce on the speech, dissect it on live, national television and promptly explain exactly what was wrong with every part of it.

We’re a nation of complainers and sometimes it seems that we’re never as happy as when we’re unhappy. More often than not, we choose pessimism and negativism over optimism and positivism.

On one level, I suppose, it’s understandable – given our vastly divided political parties, it’s inevitable that roughly 50% of any voting population (local, state, or federal) will, at any given time, be angry, disappointed, frustrated or pissed off at an elected official. And I’m not a complete idiot – I’m well aware that there are very real economic concerns that are dominating the national discussion and are making it difficult for people to focus on the positive.

All I propose is a modest shift in our priorities. I realize this may seem radical, but what if we actually stopped being pessimistic for once and started out with optimism? What if we actually gave positive feedback first, then went into the constructive (and that part’s key) criticism? What if we stopped assuming the worst and started giving people – esp. the President – the benefit of the doubt?

I’m not asking for everyone to magically start agreeing with each other. But if we started the conversation by finding common ground, instead of focusing on those things that divide us, well, it makes me wonder what we could actually accomplish.

Full disclosure: I’m still (relatively) young to be naïve enough to retain some of my idealism and, of course, I’m one of those crazy liberal, progressive Democrats. Both are responsible (or to blame?) for this post. Also, I’m a reformed pessimist who discovered a much more enjoyable life once I stopped fixating on the negative things.

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