Worth Holding On To

Posted on | November 11, 2009 | No Comments

[Note: This was a guest post I wrote for Kristin's Halfway to Normal blog and it was originally posted on Friday Nov. 6th. I'm republishing it here just in case anyone missed it.]

When Kristin first asked me to write a guest post, she suggested – and I agreed – that I write about life being good and how important it is to recognize and deliberately hold on to the good things. For me, the Love List is a way to be very conscious of all these good things in my life.

Sometimes I have a tendency to focus too much on the negative and not enough on the positive. Over the last year, however, I made a few decisions and took a few steps that brought me to a really positive place. Life was great and I was happy and content. Participating in the Love List project felt like a natural way to honor the happiness in my life and focus on the good.

Then, a few weeks ago, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly. In the midst of all of the family chaos and sadness, I found it difficult to concentrate on anything positive. My own Love List took a back seat to my grief. I wondered if it even mattered anymore.

The answer, of course, is that it does matter. Life moves on. We grieve, yes, but the good things don’t go away just because something bad happened. Deliberately holding on to the good things in life is just as (if not more) important now.

When my grandmother passed, my entire immediate family was together, either by coincidence or divine providence, on a previously-planned vacation. And though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I was also in the middle of doing something I loved, something I put on my Love List: playing board or card games with my family, especially when we’re all crowded around a table together and there’s an equal sense of camaraderie and competitiveness.

Grief won’t vanish overnight, but knowing that I was doing something I loved, surrounded by the people I loved, has helped intertwine that sadness with joy. So has continuing to add to my Love List. When I initially started my list, I wasn’t thinking ahead. I was simply creating a catalog of the things I loved, adding to it organically over time.

To my surprise, my Love List ended up providing comfort and giving me a way to honor my grandmother. During the last few weeks, when things haven’t been so positive, my list has been a tangible reminder that (to quote a little red-haired girl) the sun will come out tomorrow. And while I may not be able to make my sorrow disappear magically, I can pay tribute to my grandma’s life by living my own life to the fullest – a life that doesn’t take anything for granted and celebrates the wonderfully good things I’m blessed to have.

It may only be words written on a sheet of paper, but my Love List has come to be so much more than just words and paper. It’s a visible symbol of the things and people in my life that are worth holding on to, in good times and in bad. And that’s certainly something to love.

What does your Love List symbolize to you? What has been the most surprising part of this journey?

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