15 Things – 5 Final Reasons Why

Posted on | September 29, 2009 | 1 Comment

In March, I decided to give myself a list of things to complete before my 30th birthday, a list designed to encourage crazy dreams and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Almost six months later, I’ve barely made any progress. So I set out to explain, in detail, the rationale behind including each task on the list, both as a reminder to myself and as a way of holding myself accountable in this public space.

Over the last few weeks, I wrote about tasks 1-5 and tasks 6-10. Now, here, are the final five tasks.

Tasks 11-15

11. Go commando for a day.
12. Take a trip by myself – with no regrets.
13. Run a 5k race.
14. Raise $1,000 for breast cancer research.
15. Kiss a stranger.

I’m inwardly cringing at having to explain task 11, because who knows if and which of my family members read this blog. But the whole point of this exercise was to be honest, so here goes: task 11 went on the list because it’s daring and sexy and yes, just a little bit naughty. Growing up, whenever my friends and I played “Truth or Dare,” I always picked truth. I was afraid of dares, afraid of the schemes my friends might concoct. I put #11 on the list to force myself to be daring, to not always take the safe path. Safe is good, but sometimes its too easy. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to do what’s hard, what’s daring, in order to find the real rewards.

I have no problem with alone time; in fact, I rather enjoy it. So I initially put task 12 on the list thinking it would be a snap. No problem. I can spend time with myself easily. But the more I think about, the more it is a bit of a challenge – one that confronts perception head on. Alone time generally means you’re somewhere private, in your home or in a quiet place. Being alone in public is harder. When we see people by themselves at the movies, in a hotel or at a restaurant, we don’t assume they are simply enjoying some alone time. We jump to sympathetic fantasies: she’s been stood up, he just lost his wife, she didn’t have anyone to join her. We create a story because, for whatever reason, seeing some alone, especially in public, makes us feel uncomfortable. I wanted to take a trip by myself, not only to confront these perceptions, but also to prove that I was capable of doing, capable of planning, organizing and paying for a trip all by myself. It seems simple, but, to me, it’s also significant.

I predict that task 13 will ultimately prove to be one of the most difficult tasks. In part, it’s related to task 1, but it stands alone for specific reasons. I’m not a runner. I don’t have stamina and I prefer to walk or drive. But creating the list was about doing those things I never thought I’d do and, to some extent, doing the things other people wouldn’t think I’d do. If I told someone today that I was running a 5k race tomorrow, they’d probably laugh in my face. Which is exactly why it’s on the list – to prove to people (and to myself) that I can do things I never thought I could.

Task 14 has special meaning for me. In college, one of my close friend’s mother had breast cancer. I started participating in the “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer” walk each year. Years later, my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer and the cause became personal. Every time I walk, I solicit donations from friends and family, usually in small $10 and $20 increments. I usually raise a couple hundred dollars and I feel good that I’m able to help in some small way. But I knew, when I wrote this list, that I wanted to include something that would make a big impact. I wanted to challenge myself and step up my game. I also wanted to do something that would make a difference, something that could tangibly help other people. I set the $1,000 goal as my minimum, but I’m secretly hoping to exceed it.

The final task was added almost as a whim. I must have been crazy – kiss a stranger? Who does that? Still, I kept it on the list instead of adding something else precisely because it seemed crazy. Sometimes I feel so reserved and rigid. I love to plan and organize, but it leaves me wanting to be more spontaneous. Sometimes we just need to let go and enjoy life, planning and organization be damned. So, strangers beware! You just might ended up kissed.

So that’s what I was thinking, or in some cases, not thinking. I just might be completely out of my mind, but I suspect the next two and a half years are going to be interesting. So, watch out, world! Ordinary Mer is on her way!

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