Going to the Chapel

Posted on | July 20, 2009 | No Comments

My friend K got married on Saturday. In some ways, it’s very strange to see my friends getting married because I feel so far away from that myself. But I enjoy being able to celebrate with them, even with my wedding dislike.

I’ve always been a bit of a wedding cynic – not because I don’t believe in the idea of marriage, but rather because I don’t like the idea of a wedding. The wedding industry seems determined to keep people focused on the little things, the tiny insignificant details instead of the larger picture.

Does it really matter if the napkins match the tablecloths, which both match the flowers, the bridesmaid dress sashes and the groomsmen tux cummerbunds? Does it really matter if Uncle Vito can’t sit next to Uncle Saul because of a disagreement they had back in 1975? And the less I say about brides wearing white and being “given away,” the better.

But at K’s wedding, the cynic in me melted a bit. I didn’t focus on all of the details, though K had done an incredible job at planning everything. On that day, in the moment, the details didn’t matter. All that mattered was how utterly happy K looked, how content she seemed, how much fun she seemed to have. And I was happy to be able to silence my inner cynic for awhile and just be happy for her.

Once you get passed all the trappings, the little things pale in comparison to watching two people make a lifelong commitment to each other in front of their family and friends. My own personal feelings about weddings aside, what I witnessed was a marriage beginning. I felt honored to be a part of the start of K’s new life with her husband.

And there’s nothing cynical about that.

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