Someone Like Me

Posted on | June 23, 2009 | No Comments

Last week, I had a couple of conversations that made me realize some of my family members actually read this blog. I probably shouldn’t have been surprised – after all, I’m the one who sent them the link. But I honestly was a bit surprised. Sometimes when I mention I’m going to do something, I feel like I get a bit of an “oh, that’s just Mer again” kind of reaction. I’m never really sure if people take me seriously – even within my own family.

The verdict – so far, anyway – about OM was mixed. Some thought my posts were too “dark” while others worried that I was sharing too much. I can see where they were coming from. Sometimes it’s hard to know the context of a specific post or what compelled me to write about it in the first place. And, of course, when you write on the Internet, you do have to be aware because you never know who will come across your site.

Still, I think I was taken aback by some of their reactions because it’s just never occurred to me to self-censor.

These days, the Internet lets you be whoever you want to be. You can hide behind personas, user names and other screens to mask your true identity. And yet the truth eventually comes out anyway. Yes, the Internet lets you hide, but it also gives other people the tools to find you. So I guess I never really thought about being anyone but myself. Maybe that’s naïve of me – I don’t know.

And why shouldn’t I be myself? It’s all about transparency, authenticity and any other social media buzz word, right? I’m careful about what details I give away and I try to stay as honest as possible without over-sharing.

Someone once asked me who I was writing for and, frankly, I wanted to say I was writing for me. I know that’s not how it’s supposed to be, according to whatever social media rules you follow. You’re supposed to give more than your receive, write for your readers more than for yourself, etc. And I like to think that I do try to do that. But writing is also my way of processing the world around me – what I see, hear, read, observe and/or experience. I put it online for the world to see because there are smarter people out there who can provide valuable, honest – and yes, even critical – feedback.

I’d like to be able to say, “Oh, well. Just deal with it.” But that seems unnecessarily harsh. At the same time, I can’t be anyone other than myself and I can’t always worry about what people might think. It’s not conducive to honest writing.

So where, exactly, does that leave me?

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