Me, Myself and I

Posted on | June 26, 2009 | No Comments

I’ve been doing some more thinking about the reactions some people IRL have had to this blog. I came up with two possible explanations.

First, it’s entirely possible I haven’t explained myself – and my purpose – well enough. This might be because I don’t exactly know my purpose (or even myself) enough to explain it to other people. My very first post tried to outline what I wanted to do in this space: use my little corner of the Internet to sort through all the things in my life and in my head and, going back to the idea of Om, it’s also my way of recognizing and understanding the unknowable things in my life.

Second, maybe these IRL people aren’t used to seeing this version of me. We all have these different “selves” (Soul Pancake called it being a social chameleon) that represent different parts of our personalities. Much like “hats” or “masks” that we might wear, we have a self for work, a self for friends, a self for family, etc. At any given moment, we’re a different self, acting and behaving in a certain way based on who we’re with, where we are physically and where we are mentally.

I’m one Mer when I’m with family and another Mer when I’m with my best friends. But then there’s the me underneath all these different selves that I present to the world – the me that’s really me when no one else is around. And that’s the me that’s (mostly) represented on this blog. So maybe these IRL people are used to seeing one particular self and when faced with a different self (or the me that’s really me), they don’t know how to react.

Right around the time I started writing this post yesterday, Jamie tweeted some words of wisdom I found particularly helpful:

I’ve found the more I trust myself & the decisions I make, the less I feel the need to explain myself to anyone who asks.

So maybe I just have to trust myself. And be whatever self I need or want to be. Then maybe other people will start to trust me as well.

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