Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Mer
Posted on | July 28, 2010 | No Comments
Hypocrisy: noun – a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; the practice of professing beliefs, feelings or virtues that one does not hold or possess. From the Greek hypokrisis, the act of playing a part on stage.
I really dislike hypocrisy. It makes me crazy. I’m a big believer in honesty and I’ve always believed in and lived by the motto, “what you see is what you get.” Maybe it’s because I believe I’m my own harshest critic, but I’ve always sort of believed that I’m honest about who I am.
Too bad I’m really just a big ol’ hypocrite.
The last couple of weeks, I’ve found myself indulging in the very kinds of behavior I have always professed to dislike. And, obviously, I don’t like that. But admitting you have the problem (or flaw) is the first step, right?
One thing I feel strongly about is the need for second, third, fourth or more chances to make a good impression. I’m convinced that I don’t make a good first impression – I think I’m the kind of person you need to get to know before you can decide if you do (or don’t) like me. If you’ll pardon the metaphor, I’m an acquired taste. So, naturally, it bothers me when people I meet dismiss or underestimate me based on the first impression, whether it’s in person, online or otherwise. I’m so much more than my physical appearance, my Twitter feed, my resume or even this blog. I want people to give me a second chance.
So imagine my dismay to discover that I don’t always practice what I preach. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the opportunities to meet a bunch of new people and I rather unpleasantly discovered myself engaging in the very behavior I so dislike.
I’m not doing it intentionally, at least as far as I know. But sometimes it is far, far too easy to be judgmental and make snap decisions. It’s much harder to stick it out and be willing to be proven wrong. Of course, that doesn’t mean I should take the easy way out – the hard way may indeed be harder, but it’s also much more rewarding as well.
For all the times I thought I had an open mind, it’s incredibly humbling to find out just how judgmental I can really be. I need to remind myself that I can – and should – do better. After all, I can’t expect other people to behave in a certain way if I’m not willing to show them the same courtesy.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]
I Left My Heart in San Diego
Posted on | July 26, 2010 | 2 Comments
Sometimes I’m not exactly sure how I appear to other people. And if you happen to get to know me online, where I tend to be quite the long-winded little wordsmith, it’s possible you would get the impression that I’m a bit of an intellectual. This is certainly true – I do have my moments of philosophizing and God knows I venture into the “deeper” categories here on this blog. But underneath the love for books and libraries and the straight-A perfectionist tendencies lies the giddy beating heart of a dork.
Yes, folks, as you may well remember, I am, in fact, a big ol’ pop culture-loving fan-girl dork. Which is why it absolutely kills me that I spent the weekend at home, instead of in San Diego, at Comic Con International.
For those sad fellows among us who have no knowledge of the wonders of Comic Con, it is the largest convention in the Western hemisphere and is devoted to all things pop culture. Traditionally, it was comic book and sci-fi/fantasy convention, though these days just about anyone who’s anyone shows up. If it’s in any way popular with any subsection of society, you’ll find it at Comic Con.
Celebrities and regular Joes mingle and bond over their shared love of Star Wars and superheroes. Panels, workshops and seminars offer sneak peeks of hotly anticipated movies and upcoming seasons of television shows. People show up in costumes and fan-girls (and boys) get ample opportunities to practice their screeching and squeals. It’s probably the only place you’ll find big-name movie stars in the same vicinity as television series producers, sci-fi/fantasy authors and comic book artists. It’s like one big pop culture love-in.
And I wasn’t there! So many of my favorite people, in one convenient location, and I wasn’t there! I mean, people – Friday alone was Star Wars day! Just think about all the other things I missed as well. The only thing saving my sanity (besides the blessing of pop culture news media – thank you, Entertainment Weekly) is my sheer and absolute determination to make it to San Diego one year, even if it means starting a special savings account just for Comic Con expenses. It’s not on my 15 Before 30 list because I couldn’t guarantee that I’d make it there before 30, but it is most definitely on my “absolutely, without a doubt before I die” list.
Besides, who doesn’t want to spend four days with 12,000 of their closest friends and end the weekend with a sing-along screening of Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s musical episode, Once More With Feeling?
Your turn – what event(s) does your inner dork long to attend? What’s the one dork-ish thing you MUST do before you die? In/when I do have the opportunity to attend, who’s up for a road trip to San Diego? (You know you want to.)
[Photo Credit: CCI website via Google Image Search]
Have a Little Faith
Posted on | July 23, 2010 | 2 Comments
First impressions, blind dates, networking, meeting new people – these are things that do not come naturally to me. My tendency is to shy away from these situations, to find a corner in the room and observe, instead of joining the fray. Part of it has to do with being an introvert; large crowds and unfamiliar situations can threaten to overwhelm me. But part of it is also tied to my self-esteem and self-confidence.
I’ve written before about how I don’t always see myself clearly, how I often assume the worst, instead of trusting in myself. What can I say? I’m a work in progress – and it can be difficult to maintain faith in yourself when you don’t have any control whatsoever over other people’s responses. Just because my family and my friends see me a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else will. I have to have faith that other people will take the time to look beyond the first impression and faith is something that isn’t always easy to have.
I may never be 100% confident in myself 100% of the time, but this week gave me the opportunity to try and drown out some of those nagging doubts – a crisis of confidence averted with the help of some friends. A news article I once read suggested writing out all the qualities I like about myself and using them to reminders to have faith, in myself and in others. Some people may not give me a second chance, but the right people will and here’s why:
I may never be a size zero, but I have fabulous hair, beautiful eyes, a warm and welcoming smile, and a deep appreciation for the wondrous powers of a good pedicure. I’m okay with the fact that I don’t conform to the standard for “traditional” beauty – who wants to be standard? And who gets to decide what’s pretty and what’s not? I don’t need someone else to tell me that I’m beautiful (though it doesn’t hurt), because I am finally – finally! – accepting myself, my body and my beauty for what it is, even when it’s far from perfect.
I’m smart – and not just in a “reads a lot of books and knows a lot of trivia” way, though that’s true too. I’m intelligent and articulate and, most of the time, I have a good dose of common sense. My friend L claims I am one of the best conversationalists she knows, because I pay attention to the world around me and can talk about just about anything. I’m curious about the world around me and I’m always learning more.
I’m fiercely loyal and devoted to my family and friends. I have a lot of people rooting for me, supporting me and encouraging me and I think it’s only fair that I root for, support and encourage all of them right back. I actually enjoy spending time with my family and I’ve had some of the same friends for 15+ years. I commit, because they’re worth it and they make me feel as if I’m worth it too.
I maintain a good balance in life between responsibility and fun. I’m incredibly independent and easily take care of myself and my responsibilities. But I also have a lot of passion for the things I’m interested in and am told that I’m a lot of fun to be around. I’ll discuss philosophy with you, and then play hide-n-seek with my nephews. I pay my bills on time and rarely miss a day of work, but I can also splurge and relax when I need to.
And perhaps mostly importantly, I’m flawed. Yes, it’s strange to consider this a good quality, but I do. I know I’m not perfect and I know I have a lot of things to improve upon and that’s part of what keeps me going. I can always do better, I can always be better and so I never stop trying to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend.
Am I bragging? Maybe, but I’m okay with that. It seems to me that we spent entirely too much time tearing ourselves down and beating ourselves up. We rarely take the time to focus on the positive. It’s far too easy to be self-critical. It’s harder to maintain consistent self-confidence. We all have our moments when we start to doubt – and when we do, it’s important to break the silence and remind ourselves exactly why we just need to have a little faith.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson
[Photo Credit: Google Image Search]